Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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