I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
