You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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