What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
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