just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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