Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
