i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
