i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
