I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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