There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
