The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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