So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
