Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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