you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
