I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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