The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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