oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
