How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
