Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
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We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
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I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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