So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
