forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
