your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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