Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
