Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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