Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
