i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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