Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
