Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
