No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
