I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
