She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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