Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
