I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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