Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just found a bag of teeth...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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