Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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