literally had 100 drinks last night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
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Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
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This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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