Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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