I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
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He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
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You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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