oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
