I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
