I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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