According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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