I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
