There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
