Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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