I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He did a backflip because drugs
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