So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
