Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
