P.S. I can't hear my feet
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
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On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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