Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
