Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
