i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
