My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
