Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
