Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
no you cant smoke seaweed
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
