i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
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Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
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He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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