the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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