he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
