The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize